Painful Sex: How 8 Months of Foreskin Restoration Makes it Better!

By E. Doherty © 2012


There is a lot of information and support that exists today regarding foreskin restoration once you start looking for it. My husband's path to choosing restoration was a winding one.

I started asking questions after my husband and I had been together for about a year and sex was a mix of pleasure and pain for me -- always. My husband, being the only person I have ever been intimate with, I assumed the problem was mine. I went to the gynecologist and was told to "use lube and take it easy" as there was nothing physically wrong with me. My husband and I searched the internet looking for answers, but nothing seemed to help. Embarrassed and defeated, I gave up looking and figured this was just the way sex would be, forever.

Years later and pregnant, I began researching circumcision and began to make the connection between my lack of satisfaction and his lack of foreskin. Long story short, and without a full on anatomy lesson, without the slack skin and rich nerves, and callused over after many years (rubbing on boxers, etc.), my husband had to be a very vigorous lover in order for me to feel pleasure, but this created a fair amount of friction as well and therefore pain. Making love was vigorous and brief and often unsatisfying for us both. We both felt inadequate -- me for my lack of being able to enjoy sex, and him for his lack of being able to bring me pleasure.

When we came to the point of researching foreskin restoration, my husband feared that increasing sensitivity to the glans (head) of his penis would make him orgasm even more quickly (one of the very common reasons men choose to restore is lack of sensitivity). However, what we have found is that once the skin slackened, he no longer needs to thrust so vigorously to stimulate me, as the slipping of his skin (mimics ribbing, but has a more smooth, fluid feeling that is more of a gentle, sensual massage) increased my pleasure and as a result, he is now able to be a far more tender lover. When we choose to have more vigorous sex, the slackened skin accommodates this as well without causing me the pain that used to always come with it. It does seem that using a condom masks the early progress (i.e. sex with a condom does not seem to afford the same benefits of restoration for me or us as a couple at this point).

My husband choose to use the CAT II Q, and within a few months, sex became more comfortable for me, and even pleasurable for the first time. The first month or so of restoration was quite difficult for my husband, and he would become frustrated if the device popped off -- as it often did in the first few weeks. As the skin slackened, this has become less problematic. The first few weeks also did make the shaft skin quite tender, and using medical tape helped both the slipping off and tenderness. It helped the first few days to wear the tugger without underwear, with athletic shorts on, so it did not overly tug the skin to one side. Yes, it stuck straight out, but it was temporary, and far more comfortable in the privacy of our home.

My husband does not tug full time. Rather, he wears the device after work until just before bed, as his job requires a fair amount of physical activity. He has been restoring for about 8 months now and has a fair amount of slack. (He did not have to be fully restored for us both to begin to reap the benefits!) He has not yet committed to going 'all the way' (having a restored 'foreskin' that covers the glans completely) but as long as he is comfortable with the process, and is happy with the results, we are in no rush to stop.

He now has wearing the tugger down to a science and it no longer bothers him to wear it regularly. For those new to considering restoration for yourself, be reassured that within a few weeks, he was able to wear the device publicly without it being at all noticeable under his shorts. It helped him to check his reflection in a mirror before heading out, because from my husband's vantage point it always looked more prominent than it did to anyone else. Needless to say, we are both very happy to have found restoration and the options available today!

End Note: With all the restoration equipment options today, a lot of people ask about the particular item my husband chose. The device he opted for is the CAT II Q, specifically. He researched them all and is very happy with his choice. He feels it is a very well thought out and effective method to restoration.

Related Reading:

Foreskin Restoration (Saving Our Sons)

Beginner's Guide to Foreskin Restoration (Restoring Tally)

RestoringForeskin.org

NORM.org (National Organization of Restoring Men)

Foreskin Restoration (CIRP)

Foreskin Restoration (Circumstitions)

Foreskin-Restoration.net (Forum)

SexAsNatureIntendedIt.com

Sex As Nature Intended It (Kindle book)

The Joy of Uncircumcising (book)

Hello Orgasm! How Foreskin Restoration Improved Our Sex Life

Tugging Foreskin: A Painful Sex Turn-Around

CIRCUMserum: Renewal Ointment for Circumcised Men

Partners of Restoring Men (Facebook group exclusively for women with male partners who are restoring or have restored)

Women Affected by Male Circumcision (Facebook page)

Male Circumcision & Women's Sexual Health (Resource page)

To share your story of foreskin restoration, or how circumcision has impacted you, write to SavingSons@gmail.com or find us on Facebook at Saving Our Sons.

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14 comments:

  1. I would like to note that not all intact men have a fully covered glans. Infants almost always do, but there is no way to know how that little boy will grow into his prepuce.

    Circumstitions.com has a page full of images from a public nudity day in England. You can see quite a bit of variation from man to man.

    Either way, mobile skin makes all the difference!

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    Replies
    1. That is very interesting. I have noticed that my almost 5-year-old son's foreskin does not completely reach the end like it did when he was a baby. It is also fully retractable, and has been since he was 2 or 3. Being that early might be a genetic thing, since his younger brother's seems headed the same direction (he's almost 18 mo).

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  2. I am a 59 year old woman and have been divorced for 25 years. I have dated many men since the divorce because I was not interested in marriage. In almost all cases, if they were cut they seemed to have problems and I did not enjoy the sex. Uncut guys are so much better and sex with them is fantastic.

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    Replies
    1. In a mere 4 sentences, you make a strong and dramatic point!

      Go to Women Affected By Male Circumcision in Facebook, and talk to the admins privately. They will help you find a way to share your story anonymously and possibly privately (there is a FB group on this topic that is invisible to all but invited members).

      I have a strong impression that cut men under 30 are quite capable of enjoying intercourse, although I suspect that their partners are often less than satisfied. Cut men certainly have no problem reproducing. The real problem is after he turns 40, when his ability to feel sexual sensations may gradually dies. Her natural lube ebbs, and sex becomes boring for him and painful for her. Sex stops and they both blame aging. I am 63 and very much enjoy intercourse with my wife. She uses lube doped with some estrogen, available with a prescription.

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    2. Yes, I too could have intercourse/masturbate (although with lube), until my 50s, but nothing now. it is only good to urinate with.

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  3. I wear the DTR 8 - 10 hours a day. Using the four inch pusher I am able to do my job at a warehouse. When I wear the 6 inch I attach it to a knee brace so It is tugging and stretching at the same time. This allows me to do my job and be able to stretch.

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  4. We are starting to feel sad on the realization of what we have been missing out on for my husband and I because of his infant circumcision. We'd like to look into restoring. What are the best options for doing so? What restoration items have others liked best?

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    1. My husband is choosing the TLC Tugger.

      You can review all the different methods, and different brands and sites, here:

      www.norm.org

      Good luck. :)

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  5. Circumcision is a modern day travesty that no child should be exposed too. I was circumcised as a child and found it hard to forgive my folks for taking away what was rightfully mine in the name of religion. That was MY foreskin, and no one had the right to remove it for Any reason. Of course if its done on medical grounds that's a diferent story.

    As an adult I found out how to grow my foreskin back using natural stretching methods. Fortunatley for me, I'm passionate in everything that I do, so it only took me a year or so of daily stretching to get back what was mine.

    I found an article earlier on Google ( http://dreampenisguide.com/blog/how-to-restore-your-foreskin-and-be-uncircumcised-again )which pretty much summed up my thinking... Restore your foreskin so you can stick it to the man! Not literally of course lol. It just means YOU can be empowered to take back what's yours.

    Great site by the way, and thanks for giving me the chance to air my views.

    King Regards,

    David Hoggins

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  6. My husband ordered his TLC Tugger.. TODAY! We are so excited to take back, what was first stolen from us. Circumcision has stolen our sexuality. I wish he was given his own choice, instead of it being made for him.

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  7. I have had many lovers, most of them cut. Each and every one of them I have always had a difficult time staying aroused and lubricated. Sex has always been frustrating for me and I have always had to use store bought lubrication. My son's father was terrible, he would, "jack hammer me" in bed. I never had an orgasm, would always suffer from dryness, and sex was painful.

    My wonderful boyfriend of almost a year now is intact. He is such a wonderful lover. The other night while were making love he always is in shock saying, "you are always so wet!" We have a great time together. He is laid back, confident, sexy, and has a wonderful penis. We love each other very much and our bond is a unique one because he satisfies me in ways no other man has or will.

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  8. I have been restoring for over two years now, because I was cut very tight. It has been well worth the effort for both my wife and I.

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  9. I'm 32 and have mostly been with circumcised partners. I've experienced the same unsatisfying and painful experiences most of the posters above me have for most of my life with the exception of my last LTR, who was intact. The sex was fantastic and ultimately caused me to research circumcision and the anatomy of the intact penis. However, the relationship was bad and I've since moved on. Getting back into the dating scene and wanting a life partner, I knew I couldn't pick and choose a man based on his foreskin or lack thereof.

    I'm with a wonderful new man who is thankfully against RIC, but is also circumcised. I knew we may struggle in the bedroom, but didn't realize how much so. Intercourse thus far is very painful and dry, even with artificial lubricant. Thus, establishing a meaningful intimate connection is proving to be difficult. Needless to say it's been emotional; I feel we're missing a vital connection because the lovemaking is so detached. Thankfully he's open to the idea of restoration and we will be researching it further, together. I hope that, if he chooses to restore, that he can regain some of what was taken from him.

    I'm so thankful for pages like SOS that have resources we can use.

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  10. How do we stop the insanity that is RIC?

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