Tugging Foreskin: A Painful Sex Turn-Around

By M. J. Wasser © 2013

Being a young, vibrant and healthy couple in your 20s, you would think any sexual problems would be far off into the future. But I never enjoyed sex. It was dry, painful and I always felt like I was just waiting for it to be over.

My husband of 6 years has always had trouble getting to the 'finish line,' and I could never lay there and take it the entire time. Not only did I feel chaffed, but my abdomen hurt from the inside and sometimes I bled. Sex was too rough, and though I was often in the mood, it wasn't satisfying once we got going. I always thought it was my fault - like my desire wasn't strong enough. I felt like I was supposed to buck up, but I just couldn't. And it wasn't fun.

After learning the ways that infant circumcision impacts sexual intimacy in adult life, I came across the TLC Tugger (a foreskin restoration device). I was left with a total feeling of loss, and I still feel it. I'm angry that what our sex life was supposed to be was robbed from us, and the problems we now face were pre-determined for us. What we were meant to have as a couple was taken from us before we were ever able to experience it. Instead, we are forced to have sex without all the 'parts' in place - sex according to my husband's parents' choices made for him in infancy.

After a casual and brief explanation of a foreskin's purpose, and how the TLC Tugger works, my husband suddenly said, "Maybe I should get one of those..." I tried my best to stick to the facts. Men tend to steer away from a conversation that is overly emotional. As it turned out, he has wanted his foreskin all along.

One year after this initial conversation, we ordered his TLC Tugger. I gently reminded him a few times, then made it sexy and fun to measure him for it.

After one night with the TLC Tugger he regained new sensation. After a few weeks his skin was smoother, more pink, and things in the bedroom have been a tad easier after a few months. (Between you and me, even giving oral sex is easier!) Somehow the smoother skin helps things glide nicely - just as they were meant to all along. And I have a feeling it will only get better.

My husband really does not like to talk about his feelings about being circumcised against his wishes - he even gets irritated if I ask how the restoration process is going. Instead, he will joke about how I'm 'obsessed,' or tell a penis joke, or say that he's going to grow his foreskin long enough to toss it over his shoulder! I try my best to respect the fact that he's not comfortable with confronting this loss, and to assure him of the fact that I love how things are progressing down there!

While every man is different, I believe one thing most have in common is that they are deathly afraid that they aren't enough in the bedroom. With this in mind, I've told my husband how a new foreskin will benefit me sexually, but try not to dwell on it as it seems to be an area of pain for him too, learning that sex isn't pleasurable for me, and it is in large part because he was circumcised.

While we are only several months into his restoration process, he is enjoying how things are starting to feel -- and so am I! We will soon take back some of what was stolen from us, and I am so thankful foreskin restoration options exist today.

Related Reading:

Foreskin Restoration (Saving Our Sons)

Beginner's Guide to Foreskin Restoration (Restoring Tally)


NORM.org (National Organization of Restoring Men)

Foreskin Restoration (CIRP)

Foreskin Restoration (Circumstitions)

Foreskin-Restoration.net (Forum)


Sex As Nature Intended It (Kindle book)

The Joy of Uncircumcising (Book)

Painful Sex: How 8 Months of Foreskin Restoration Makes it Better!

Hello Orgasm! How Foreskin Restoration Improved Our Sex Life

CIRCUMserum: Renewal Ointment for Circumcised Men

Partners of Restoring Men [Private Facebook group exclusively for women with male partners who are restoring, have restored, or may choose to restore in the future. To join, submit a group request and PM the Saving Our Sons FB page in response to these items: 1) What is your experience with restoration? and/or 2) In what ways has male circumcision impacted you as a woman?]

Women Affected by Male Circumcision (Facebook page)

Male Circumcision & Women's Sexual Health (Resource page)

To share your story of foreskin restoration, or how circumcision has impacted you, write to SavingSons@gmail.com or find us on Facebook at Saving Our Sons.



  1. All the more reason to ban circumcision.
    Hope this couple get their happy ending. No pun intended.

  2. I'm glad that things are better for this couple. Having had sex with only circumcised and non-restored men and never having a problem with dryness unless it was a many-hours-long session or we were rushing things, I do wonder if some of these ladies would do well with a water-based or other lubricant? Certainly, I fully support restoration and am strictly anti-circumcision! I also am uncomfortable blaming the woman's dryness only on his circumcision, though. For me, I was dry when I wasn't fully stimulated; our choices at that point were more foreplay or using "lube." When I was fully stimulated, there was no issue with dryness. Just a thought. I am happy that this couple is experiencing better sex and that his restoration is progressing well. For her bleeding, she might consider seeing her OB/gyn to be checked for a low-grade yeast infection and/or overactive blood vessels, too. Best wishes! :)

    1. One thing to remember, though, is that men are supposed to bring their own 'lube' (naturally) and gliding motion to the table. When these variables are no longer present, only then does 'dryness' sometimes become a problem -- especially later in life when women's hormones naturally change and they do not produce as much wetness. Men's bodies are designed to pick up the slack and keep going... unless these parts were cut off early in life. Then there is no hope. :(

    2. Coconut oil makes for a great lubricant for women! BUT women aren't the only ones who are supposed to bring 'lube' into the situation. Nature intended for men to contribute too, and a foreskin does just that. In my opinion as a woman, reaching for lube (whether I do it or my man does) is a total turn off. I hate it. I'd much rather have the foreskin that was supposed to be there in the first place. I mean, I understand what you're saying, a female should be fully aroused if she wants to contribute to the whole lube factor too, circumcised or not. But a lot more women with circ'ed partners complain about dryness and pain compared to women with intact partners. Jealous!


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