Dear Mothers

By Jennifer Moose, The Intact Network

Dear Mothers of Our Daughters’ Future Mates,

Please take a moment to think about this before you circumcise your son:

His penis may be used to have sex with a someone who is not you.

This person could be one of our daughters. You may enjoy having sex with your mate's circumcised penis, or you may not enjoy having sex with your mate's intact penis... but whatever your reason for wanting to circumcise your son, it is in no way relevant to the partner(s) your son will be engaging in intercourse with when he is old enough to do so.

When our straight daughters come to us to talk about the problems they may be experiencing during intercourse such as vaginal dryness, soreness, inability to orgasm, etc., the first thing we will ask will be, "Is he circumcised?" If the answer is, 'YES' we will have to enlighten them about what was stolen away from them when you chose to have this man circumcised at a time he was still unable to defend himself.

Both your son and his partner would be deprived, by YOU, of the ability to have sex as nature intended it. Neither would have any choice in a matter that is so personal to them. You would be choosing to invade their intimacy through unnecessary genital reduction surgery. Your decision to have your son circumcised is tantamount to controlling your son’s ability to give and receive pleasure, to being a part of his physical/emotional/spiritual relationship with another adult.

Perhaps that is what you want -- but it is not right to interject yourself between a couple in such an obtrusive way. Your son may never be with a partner who wishes he had foreskin. On the other hand, it is entirely possible that he will be - especially today as more men and women are becoming enlightened on the functions of the foreskin.

The children born today are the men and women of the future. They are growing up in a world where access to this information is readily available at their fingertips. Research on the impact of circumcision on sexuality is progressing at a rapidly accelerated rate. By the time your son is an adult man, he will know that you also had access to all this same information. You will not be able to hide your decision behind willful ignorance. You will have to answer to him.

What will you say when he tells you, "It wasn’t your choice to make, Mom."? You have a decision now to leave it up to him. You have the option now to defend your son and stand up for his rights. You may have to stand up to your spouse or your baby's father. This is what we sometimes have to do as mothers -- protect our cubs.

I could be the mother of your future daughter in law, and I respectfully request that you leave matters concerning your son’s sexual relationship with his partner up to the two of them. Please, stay out of their bedroom.

Thank you.

Related Resources at:  
Male Circumcision and Women's Sexual Health


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