African Study Finds Male Circumcision Lowers Ebola Risk


New mother and her baby boy speak with clinician. 

AFRICA - Green Farm studies in South Africa, Kenya, and Uganda recently found that male circumcision lowers the risk of Ebola from females to males by 160%. The study also found that circumcision increases the risk of Ebola from males to females by 161%, but that risk was considered insignificant. A total of 5,411.5 men in the study underwent male circumcision, and 5,497 men did not. Only 6,319 of the circumcised men developed Ebola, whereas 8,927 of the intact (uncircumcised) men did not. It is theorized that Ebola enters the body through the foreskin. The Circumcision Prevents Ebola studies were funded by the Miles and Belinda Greats Foundation, the Bill and Monica Foundation, and the National Institute of Hoaxes. With researchers already available in Africa, the study relied upon those who had studied how circumcision prevents HIV. Lead authors of this Ebola study include Ima Foole, PhD; Aaron Circumstein, MD; and Mohammed Fadoul, MD.

Circumcised men were told to abstain from sex for six weeks, and were quarantined to ensure that they did. Uncircumcised men in the study were offered an all-expense paid trip to Liberia, Sierra Leone, or Guinea.

Dr. Auvert VooDoo of Germaphobe University in South Africa warned that although circumcision reduces the risk of Ebola, caution must still be practiced by men. “Circumcised men still need to wear hazmat suits during sex, and men should not think they can engage in risky behavior because they are circumcised. Men who do engage in risky sexual behavior should use a chlorine spray following sex.”

Circumcision has been known to prevent thousands of diseases throughout history. Medical experts through the years have discovered that circumcision prevents masturbation, epilepsy, convulsions, paralysis, elephantiasis, tuberculosis, eczema, bed-wetting, hip-joint disease, fecal incontinence, rectal prolapse, wet dreams, hernia, headaches, nervousness, hysteria, poor eyesight, idiocy, mental retardation, and insanity, to name just a few.

Researchers are now encouraging PEPFAR to spend billions of taxpayer dollars to circumcise as many African males as possible, in the Voluntary Ebola Eradication Program. Voluntary circumcision will be performed on newborns, children, and adults. Academic institutions, and researchers who have made studying circumcision a career, are seeking additional grant money to not only conduct future studies on how circumcision prevents Ebola, but also for perpetual studies on how circumcision prevents diseases not yet even discovered.

In light of the study’s new findings and the high death rate from Ebola, the American Association of Prevaricators is considering appointing a new Circumcision Task Force to study and recommend circumcision as a preventive against Ebola.

Contact: Ima Foole, PhD Phone: 555-CIRC-4EBOLA (555-2472-432652)

Sign outside clinic in Zambia. See additional posters, signs and advertisements for circumcision across African nations: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.430134657005661.102599.166998263319303

End Note: The above is a spoof ("a mocking imitation of someone or something, usually light and good-humored; lampoon or parody"). The author, who wishes to remain anonymous, intends this as a satire of researchers' claim that circumcision reduces risk of HIV transmission - the same researchers who started it all with their Orange Farm studies.

Related reading:

AIDSCirc.org

HIV & Circumcision Resource Page: http://www.drmomma.org/2014/01/hiv-aids-circumcision-resources.html

African Propaganda: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.430134657005661.102599.166998263319303

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2 comments:

  1. Ohh my. Well done for making light of a couple very serious issues. What else can we cure today with dangerous and unnecessary surgical operations?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Do people really not understand that in Africa men who are circumcised also have access to and are given education on hygene and infectious diseases? These studies are just correlative. Its why I dont fully believe any study done on Africans.

    ReplyDelete

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