Example Letter for Friend / Relative

By Danelle Frisbie © 2014

When it comes to reaching out to expecting friends or relatives, it is typically best to get intact related materials directly into their hands as early as possible - even before their baby's sex is known. If you know this individual's address, or are able to see them in person, the ideal first move is to put physical materials in front of them. This means doing so without asking, "Can I give you something..." (which provides the opportunity for doors to close with a 'no thanks' reply).  Just give.  This can be in the form of info cards placed into a baby book, an expecting pack sent to them anonymously, or an info pack you share. In fact, there are six options for giving here, and many excellent book choices to include in a gift (with a card or two) inexpensively available on Amazon.

If you do not know someone's mailing address, and cannot otherwise get materials physically in front of them, the next best thing is to send a heartfelt message via email or Facebook message. Below is one example of a message that has been altered slightly to fit different situations, but has overwhelmingly positive results from my work in related fields over the past 22 years. It has been curtailed in recent years to send on Facebook in a two-part message, but can also be put together with two attached images in one email.

The reason it is in two parts is so that both key images and links show up directly with a message. It is important when providing items to expecting parents that things are not overwhelming (no more than 2 primary links that will lead to more), and that they spark curiosity.

When sending on Facebook, FIRST copy/paste into an email of your own, and alter text as needed, add links, etc. Be sure you have quality copies of the images downloaded and all editing is taken care of. THEN be sure to "Expand to Full Message" on Facebook before pasting text, re-reading it, and adding the first image. This will allow your image to be sent at the end of a PM instead of the beginning. Send. And then do the same with the second part of the message. The result will be a flawless message with 2 images that are easy to read, and flows well.

If you cannot send a message to someone for any reason, you also have the option of asking a leader with Saving Our Sons to write to this individual. They will receive a similar message (either by email or on Facebook, depending on your contact options). See the bottom of this page of options for doing so. The key is to reach out to every expecting individual you know in one positive way or another.

Remember: assuming the best is a good thing. Come at this with a pro-intact, positive attitude -- all babies come into this world intact, all are deserving of their full bodies, and all parents want what is best for their little ones. We merely need to direct friends/family to resources so they are able to see the benefits of keeping their child intact; and learn the functions of the foreskin - why their baby is born with all he needs to have in the first place - while myth busting along the way if/when questions arise. There are many reasons that intact care is presented in the first part of this message (something that applies to *all* parents when their son is born) and that the term 'circumcision' is only used one time throughout the entire two-part message. It boils down to an understanding in how the human brain typically flows when presented with new ideas and language in a certain fashion, especially information and language used with expecting mothers.

Example Letter

Part One
Fill in the blanks as appropriate to your friend's location and situation; alter the opening sentences as they apply to you. Keep things friendly, brief, and personal. Find local Chapters here to include specific to your friend's state: SavingSons.org/p/local-chapters.html The reason this is important is so that this individual knows they are not alone in their area - there are many families local to them who are keeping their sons intact too, and they have options to become connected (or merely snoop out of curiosity to see what is happening in their area). 

Hi _________,

Big congrats on your little one on the way! Boys are such bundles of fun and love. I always thought I wanted a few girls... and now can't imagine life without my two little guys. ♥

I wanted to drop you a note because one of the areas of my line of work (and passion for moms and their babies) is with clinicians and preventing the forced retraction of baby boys at birth and in childhood. I believe you may be birthing in ___(state)___ and we are frequently meeting with physicians there due to the higher than average rate for retraction in infancy. I thought these items may be useful to have before your little one arrives. If you'd like anything in hard copy (a 'don't retract' baby band; intact care cards; diaper tab stickers, etc.) I'm happy to send them to you.  :)

Intact care resource page: DrMomma.org/2009/06/how-to-care-for-intact-penis-protect.html

If printing items to take to the hospital, or have in a chart, there are several links to medical organization statements on intact care near the bottom of this page: SavingSons.org/2015/07/retracting-clinician-information-pack.html

There is also a local chapter (Intact ________) near you as well: FB.com/__________

Select your favorite shade of Intact Sticker to include at the end of Part One

Part Two 
Send part two immediately after (having this pre-edited in an email to copy/paste), so that both attached images come up with each individual message on Facebook one after another. In an email, they could be combined and both items attached. 

This resource list is also a fairly comprehensive place to investigate the topic further. The Georgetown University lecture by Dr. McAllister is especially good for research-based materials; and the College Humor video is a more light-hearted look at the subject.

Should I circumcise my son? The pros and cons of infant circumcision: SavingSons.org/2014/12/should-i-circumcise-pros-and-cons-of.html

I hope you are able to relish and soak in these last days/weeks, and have a beautiful babymoon when he arrives. If I can be of any help from afar, please don't hesitate to ask. My heartfelt passion is helping new parents more than anything.

♥ Much love,

________________

Attach the Expecting postcard in Part Two of your message.

To have this postcard (reverse side has intact and circumcision care)
plus one additional postcard sent via mail to your friend (or to you),
find them for $1 (which becomes 60-cents via PayPal to help with shipping)
here: SavingSons.org/p/info-pack.html 


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