This postcard was shared at PostSecret yesterday, and this individual may or may not realize that they are far from alone... The organs of the human body have a purpose - each and every one. It is not strange, or shameful, to be turned on by the intact male body, after all, that is precisely as it was meant to be.
This individual's second secret - "I wish my fiancé had one" - is also not uncommon. Just as there is a mourning of loss (and sometimes anger, resentment, remorse) when a man discovers the full truth of all that was taken from him, his partner goes through a similar (yet different) process of dealing with a sex life, and a loved one, who was not allowed to have it all. Love for this man is no less powerful, they are no less 'sexy.' But until we can talk about what is lost to MGM, really wrap our heads around it, and have conversations about how this impacts all parties involved, we're not able to move forward, look at our options (restoration, perhaps?) and ensure we end the cycle of stealing foreskin from future men, and those they come to love...
Purposes of the Prepuce: http://www.drmomma.org/2009/09/functions-of-foreskin-purposes-of.html
Penis 101: http://www.drmomma.org/2009/10/change-in-how-intercourse-works.html
Intact vs. Circumcised: A Significant Difference: http://www.drmomma.org/2011/08/intact-or-circumcised-significant.html
The Lost List: http://www.norm.org/lost.html
Restoration Resources: http://www.savingsons.org/2009/10/foreskin-restoration.html
Male Circumcision & Women's Sexual Health (resource list): http://www.drmomma.org/2009/07/how-male-circumcision-impacts-women.html
How Circumcision Impacts Your Love Life: http://www.drmomma.org/2009/10/how-male-circumcision-impacts-your-love.html
Women Affected by Circumcision (Facebook Page): http://www.facebook.com/womenarevictimstoo
Partners of Restoring Men (Private Facebook Group; PM Saving Our Sons on Facebook to be added): http://www.facebook.com/groups/Restoring/
Want to help shift the attitude about foreskin in our culture today? These info cards were designed with straight, young women in mind (those who make up the majority of future mothers in our nation). The cards were created upon request from a couple librarians who wanted an intact info card that fit with the romance novel and 'sexy magazine' theme, and for hosts of Passion Parties and Pure Romance gatherings.
We've had an overwhelmingly positive response from those who've included them as an awareness raising, or conversation starting, tool in an already sensually-driven setting. They are easy to slip into copies of 50 Shades of Grey at your local store, into the women's magazines that highlight every imaginable article on sex and the male body, quick to leave in the women's restroom when you're out for a night on the town, or to give to a friend and plant some seeds of insight... Together, we can change the thinking on the normal male body, and in turn, spare a future generation of men from having something so important taken from them.
Suggested donation for cards (includes shipping costs):
$3 = set of 25
$6 = set of 50
$10 = set of 100
$20 = set of 200
Cards, Stickers, Stampers and more at Etsy.
Cards, Stickers, Stampers and more at Etsy.
I have this issue. My previous fiance was intact and my husband is not. I feel like we're missing out on something and have brought up restoration or even just him trying a false foreskin to see what it's like but he won't and he gets quite angry if the word is even mentioned. I feel bad for even bringing it up. I also feel like the reason he gets angry about it is because deep down he feels like there is something missing too and it makes him angry.ReplyDelete
I've never minded my hubby's foreskin: it's pretty much all I know in the bedroom. However, the more I learn about the foreskin, the more I love his! It's exactly how we are meant to fit together...no chafing, no extra lube...the gliding action is amazing! Recently, I've become extremely attracted to his foreskin, even after 12 years together...I can't get enough of him!ReplyDelete
You might say, "Foreskin saved my marriage!"
Thank you for sharing this. So much is lost with circumcision - a baby's innocence, his choice, and his foreskin. His future sex life is forever altered, his future partners will never get to experience sex with him as nature intended it ... and THIS is why we will fight until the horror of male genital mutilation is but a thing of the past.ReplyDelete
I feel like this too. Sometimes seeing his scar just makes me want to vomit and cry.ReplyDelete
I have read for some years internet narratives in this spirit: a woman is an intactivist in part because an earlier relationship with an intact man has made her well aware of how foreskin improves vaginal intercourse. At the same time, she has to deal with the fact that her current partner is cut. Or she is without a partner because all the men in her social circle are cut.ReplyDelete
Women who throw caution to the winds and share that they've "been with both kinds" and prefer intact, do our cause a great service. But if they are not currently involved with an intact man, the price they pay for their knowledge includes chronic heartache...
I never knew what I was missing, until I found myself back on the dating scene, and had the chance to experience intact men. What a difference! It works the way its supposed to! BTW, I don't think the intact man is ugly or unsightly. As far as I'm concerned, intact or not, cleanliness is paramount.ReplyDelete
My first two boyfriends were intact, and I thought that's how all penises looked. When I saw a circumcised man for the fist time, I was shocked! It looked so gross to me and all I could focus on was that big scar. My husband is circumcised and it has made sex so uncomfortable and robbed me of a lot of pleasure. I'm sure my husband knows no different, but it devastates me to think we can never have a natural sex life. We now have lubrication problems, which has never happened before in my life. We are always on different "rhythms" because he has been desensitized and can't feel pleasure unless he's super rough with me. Instead of us reaching orgasm together, I have to take my turn and then he has to take his turn. What feels good to him does absolutely nothing for me. I miss the natural gliding motion I had with my intact partners... When I mention restoration to my husband, he takes it as an insult that his penis isn't adequate. It devastates me to think what is happening to our boys on a daily basis... Amputating such an important body part without the boys consent... The worst part is, they grow up never knowing what they are missing. It's one of the cruelest things I can think of. Is it selfish for me to want my husband to restore his foreskin? Do I have no choice but to love just the way he is?ReplyDelete
I could really use some advice here!! My boyfriend of 2 years is circumcised and I wish he was intact :( :(ReplyDelete
This is NOT just an aesthetic thing. I feel sad and angry that doctors cut off a piece of his penis, and that if we stay together I will be having sex that's kind of dry and painful and too fast for the rest of my life. It's just not fair :(
I have not mentioned this to my BF because I don't want him to be self-conscious and think that I don't like his penis (even if that's partially true). I would love for him to consider restoring but he's never heard of that, and he really likes his penis so I don't think he'd want to change it (which I understand).
I talked to a therapist about this and she said the dryness/soreness/burning sensation is because I don't produce enough lubricant. I'm sorry, but that's just not true. I get REALLY wet down there before we have sex, but after a few minutes all the lubrication is gone and I really don't think that happens with intact partners (I don't know though, my BF is the only partner I've had. I'm 24.)
Do you guys have any suggestions?? How can I stop feeling sad about this? When I'm going down on him I see his scar and it just kind of turns me off because I start thinking about genital mutilation :(
I'm no expert here - ha - but I'd suggest letting go of the word "mutilation". Technically it's true, but that certainly wasn't the intent of the uniformed people who did it to him. Think "different". Oddly enough, sometimes men who are cut actually learn MORE ways to satisfy their partner because of their difference. Sex can still be slow and good....it's not just the body parts that matter, but the MIND parts! There are also great natural lubricants to use. Get inventive, take time with each other. You'd think it would be simple, but it takes time to learn each others ways. It even takes time to learn your own body. Try not to let your mind take over with negatives. Meanwhile, learn about foods you can eat that make both your bodies more healthful and sensitive. Perhaps in time you can bring up the idea of restoration not as something for his "mutilation" but for both your pleasure, as with everything else. Keep in mind most of all that love is what makes it all work, sets the mind at ease and finds a way.Delete
I would like to suggest printing off the little info card on foreskin restoration and leaving it in the bathroom or tucked in a book he has been reading, or leaving something like NORM.org pulled up on his computer/iPad/etc.Delete
I had a circumcised BF in college, and having an intact husband is a world of difference! I didn't know any better back then… I was raised in a household where circumcision was seen as something performed in the Old Testament and performed only by Jewish people in modern times. I literally had no idea that it was practiced like it is today. I believe the fact it was never discussed was because my mother was a nurse and worked L&D for awhile in a military hospital, so there is no way she would have been able to escape seeing those baby boys :(
Back to my point - Sex felt really off with my BF in college. Pretty much what you described. I would feel rubbed raw inside. I ended up leaving said BF, not for that reason (there were lots of negative aspects of our relationship). If you see yourself staying with your BF, I think it would be good to have a talk at some point.
I get upset when I contemplate my own scar.ReplyDelete
Once a man understands something was stolen from him and that is absolutely NOT his fault, the healing can begin.
I even went so far as to have had my father apologise for letting it happen. They just simply didn't know better at the time. Now we do. Knowing better is doing better, and my own son is as he was born.
I'm sorry you've had to go through that Zachariah :(Delete
As a woman, I'm lucky that I was not cut in anyway, and now there's legislation against ANY type FGM in the US. One day it will be the same for MGM, I'm sure.
Out of curiosity…how did you learn about circumcision? Do you wish you didn't know (ie, ignorance is bliss)? My boyfriend thinks his penis is "normal", "cleaner", "more attractive", etc…the last thing I want to do is burst his bubble by telling him what he's missing, and asking him to restore…but I just feel so lost on this issue in our relationship :( And it's an issue that he doesn't even know exists...
Gotta' love when a THERAPIST says you're not producing lubricant... the professionals certainly seem to be the biggest pushers of circ and obviously it's not just the doctors and nurses. I'd suggest a new therapist...ReplyDelete
My husband is from Europe, where they do NOT circumcise their boys!! Sex with a foreskin is GREAT!! No lube needed, ALWAYS comfortable, and gliding action gives orgasm every time!!! I can't even imagine sex without his foreskin!!! :-) My son is intact and I'm sure he & his future wife will be grateful for this someday too!! :-)ReplyDelete
I really wish my husband were intact. We have not had sex in almost for years because he is so desensitized and intercourse is painful for me. I had one intact lover and it was amazing, but this was before I meant my husband and before I understood the value of foreskin. My husband and I have had many discussions about why our sex is painful for me and was restoring for a while. He said he was only doing it for my benefit, but he has now stopped and he won't tell me why. This is so depressing...ReplyDelete
I'm from Europe, where we do NOT circumcise, however, I married an American.ReplyDelete
I love him, and I would never leave him, but there is definitely something missing. We are dependent on lube (Which makes me feel unadeqate for some reason, I never needed it before) and he'll sometimes lose his erection because his scar hurts. It's so sad, and I can't help resenting my mother in law for doing something so horrible to her son.